#poor allen no one loves you lol

[ghostoffuturespast]

Manuscript Word Search

Tagged by my lovely fellow writers @seeker-of-truth & @luvwich! Thanks for thinking of me <3

Pulled the word selection from all my published works here.

From seeker-of-truth: whisper, light, tendril, slam, & haze. (You can find their last word search here.)

Starting off with the horror, since it's Halloween season.

Whisper

Allen ran, fleeing down the stairs to escape the office.  His lungs floundered for air as he stumbled in his flight, bloody handprints left behind in his wake.  Allen made it to the lobby and burst through the double doors.  He kept running, only knowing he had to get away, but not knowing where.  His legs and lungs eventually gave out on him.  Stalling at a desolate intersection with sputtering street lights, Allen collapsed on the sidewalk and stared at his bloody hands.  He gasped for air and his skin felt cold against the warm night air.  The street lights suddenly snuffed themselves out, plunging the world into black.  A moment passed in that void of darkness before his holo rang.   “W-who is this?” A gentle, familiar silence answered the other end of the line. “Who the fuck are you?!”  Allen bellowed. The hush whispered a promise.

[Hex]

Light

Not wanting to be swallowed by the dark, Henry jogged to keep up.  Footfalls echoed as they journeyed down the corridor, Greta occasionally poking her head through busted doors and windows.  Mostly offices, full of office junk.  Henry wanted to ask what she was looking for, why not just pick up a stapler and be done with it, but every slight sound he heard made him start.  He hesitated at the thought of loudness that his voice might bring.  Greta’s footsteps paused when they reached the end of the hallway, the building expanded out onto a warehouse floor.  The silhouettes of walkways crisscrossed above and disused equipment scattered itself around the cavernous space.  Light from Greta’s holo did little to illuminate the gloom.  

[Tongues]

Tendril

She reached out, rubbing the leather and worn shearling in between her thumb and forefinger as she gazed around the room. The majority of the boxes had been put away and all the random items that had littered the place before had been tucked away elsewhere. Tidy, but not so neat that you couldn’t tell anyone was living there. Scribbled notes and dog-eared books were stacked on the desk, a small pile of laundry sequestered to one spot on the floor, the lone plant she’d seen in the old apartment had its delicate tendrils stretched out towards the sun. Everything a little dusty, a little worn.

[So It Goes Ch. 37: The Denial Twist]

Slam

River tore down the stairs as fast as he could. His suspect had a considerable headstart, and River heard the emergency exit door slam open when he had hit the sixth floor landing. He picked up the pace, trying to make it down the stairs in time. The emergency exit led into an alleyway and River swiveled his head in both directions, panting heavily. There was no sign which direction he'd gone, River had lost him. "Freeze! Drop your weapon!" "Dammit." River wrinkled his nose but slowly put his hands up, bending down to put his gun on the concrete, he slid it away with his boot and put his hands back up.

[So It Goes Ch. 16: Take Me Out]

Haze (& also tendril)

V blinked up at the ceiling of her apartment. Laid out on the floor in the dark, her mouth tasted of nicotine, alcohol, and acid. She flopped her head in the direction of the couch, spotting the puddle of vomit. The edges of Johnny flickered in and out, a murky shimmering haze of pixels. He was simultaneously staring out the window and watching the last tendrils of smoke curl up from an empty glass he had used as an ashtray, a half empty handle of tequila sitting next to it. Guess Johnny had finally gotten his fucking cigarette.

[So It Goes Ch. 21: Trauma]

From luvwich: bare, disgust, feed, plastic, silence. (Read their last word search here.)

Bare

“May I?” She nodded and stood, facing away from him. “If you can’t get your shoulder all the way up, I can get the scissors.” “No need to be dramatic.” She winced and bit back a groan of pain as she held her arms aloft. River tugged up on the hem of the shirt and lifted it to her shoulders, his knuckles brushing against her skin. V used her good arm to help navigate her head through the collar. A sigh of relief escaped as she was allowed to put her arms back down. She wasn’t wearing anything else underneath her shirt, her back completely bare to him, save for the blood soaked dressing on her shoulder.

[So It Goes Ch. 25: PARAMOUR]

Disgust

Pressing her tongue on the roof of her mouth, she swallowed and tried to collect moisture to combat the disgusting amount of fuzz that had grown in her mouth overnight. She smacked her lips together in disappointment and closed her eyes, her dry mouth persisting. The scent of leather blanketed her, a balm on her alcohol tormented synapses, along with that smell she still couldn’t pin. It all smelled like him though. V burrowed further underneath the coat for a while longer, trying to wish her hangover away, nose and face buried in the collar of soft worn shearling. Johnny disappeared to wherever he went when he wasn’t chatting with her. Checking the time, 11:12, she forced herself to sit up and looked around the familiar office, River’s coat slipping down to her waist. The motion tilted her stomach and she resisted the temptation to hurl straight into her boots.

Feed

V thought about everything. And nothing. She blinked her eyes open when the cat poked his damp nose in her ear, mewling. Whiskers tickled her face as Nibbles antagonized her. She blinked again. 11:16. It was past his breakfast. “All right, all right.” Tossing the covers off, she trudged over to the kitchenette to feed the damn cat.

[So It Goes Ch. 30: Passion Is Accurate]

Plastic

Perching on the edge of one of the rickety plastic chairs, Misty's eyes wandered the deserted rooftop, not finding the face she wished was there.  She sighed, her purse and hands huddled in her lap.  Shutting her eyes and leaning back, she sat there and listened to the ever present hum of the city.  The traffic and the shouts.  The buzz and the clamor.  Struggles and triumphs.  Life as it moved forward.

[Space]

Silence

A comfortable silence washed over them as they drove down the highway.  “V.” Jackie said suddenly. “Huh?” Valerie looked at Jackie confused. “You should go by ‘V’. You know, matches your persona. Short, edgy, to the point, a little mysterious. Think it fits you better than ‘Valerie.’” Valerie paused. “I’ll put it into consideration. No promises.”

[So It Goes Ch. 1: Heave Ho]

Tagging with no pressure: @therealnightcity @cinnamon-mey @shimmer-like-agirl @fly-amanitaa @dani-the-goblin @tarmac-rat @merge-conflict @another-corpo-rat @wanderingaldecaldo @baublekute

Your words: eyes, dive, water, corner, shudder.

[leoruby-draws]

Next up is Owen Mercer aka Boomerang Jr, son of Captain Boomerang and the speedster of the TrWh Outlaw team! Get ready for another long post you guys, god my hands are hurting this week arrughhh.

Owen's a fun character to draw and has a fun personality in general. He's more angsty and dark in the comics but since Digger finds out about him early on, Owen's much more happy in this au. Digger and Owen have a fantastic father-son relationship and Owen really looks up to him. Digger is so happy he found Owen but is kinda frantic on how to raise him, being a villain isn't the best job for a dad. Not sure what age Digger discovers him, maybe 10 or so?

That mini version of Digger's outfit is what Owen would've worn if he was discovered even younger (he's 4-6 in that doodle), preteen Owen would've found that outfit a bit too silly for his tastes tho.

Honestly I'm not sure if Owen even lives with him, since Digger is a rogue and probably in jail more often than not, Owen might still be in foster care. I don't remember if Owen was shown to be adopted in the comics, he was already shown to be an adult. Btw, concerning Owen's age*, I'm slightly lowering his age to better fit with Jason's age group (he's 12 to Jason's 10). He, along with Jack Moore, are the oldest of the team, too bad Owen doesn't care about acting his age!

While Owen loves hanging out with his father, he also likes to hang out with the Flash aka Barry Allen. Barry has been mentoring Owen on and off (much to Wally's dismay) and has been slowly pushing him towards heroism. He's knows Owen's got a good heart and see's that he has the potential to access the speedforce. Owen's a character that's caught between two worlds, rogue and hero. Does he want to follow in his father's footsteps or go follow Barry?

What a conundrum, but this is a problem he had in the comics. His struggle to figure what to do with his life. Actually, I think I heard somewhere he was actually created with the intent to replace Wally as the Flash but they dropped that plot point, leaving him adrift in the comics. Let me know if that's wrong tho!

Captain Cold aka Leonard Snart isn't helping matters as you can see in that vague threat up there, I'd like to better define that relationship between those two but I'd need to read more comics with Leonard to do that.

Here I have Owen with some of his friends and his dad. I said in my last post with Rankorr, that he and Owen's friendship is a nod towards the famous Green Lantern/Flash partnership. Owen's always trying to get Jack to loosen up and have fun, Jack sometimes finds this annoying but is slowly letting Owen in his life. You can see up there Owen giving Jason a ride someplace, bet Jason wishes he took the bus lol.

You can see Owen gushing over Para Dice, his canonical girlfriend from Rebirth. Owen at some point meets her in Australia and has an instant crush on her. Para is a rather mysterious girl, but has taken a liken to Owen as well. Still too young for a proper romance tho, plus Owen would need to sharpen up his speed skills if he wants to make this LDR work.

There's Digger training Owen in the art of the boomerang, rogue or hero, any son of Cap. Boomerang will be a learn to toss a good boomerang!

Another drawing of these two, aren't they adorable?

Here's Owen bother poor Lisa Snart aka Golden Glider. Owen can be a little insensitive, tho he's never actually malicious in intent (usually). Always thought it was weird that Lisa was considered a candidate for Owen's mother, she didn't seem old enough for that (Owen was like early twenties). Anyways Lisa thinks he's an annoying little twerp...

...and not the only one. Here's Owen bothering poor Jesse. Also you can see I messed up on her shirt design, wasn't really thinking about what I was drawing I guess. I do that sometimes lol.

On the nature of Owen's and Jason's relationship, they seem to quite like each other. Neither of them had many friends before the team, and find easy camaraderie in having simple boyish fun together, which is something they kinda needed in life. You'll sometimes see them making complex plans for the next prank (Lori is invited as well).

In team dynamics, Jason can find Owen tendency to not take fights seriously kinda annoying. While Owen can sometimes disregard Jason's leadership (should Jason be leader that day I mean) due to him being younger. Friction isn't common between them though, perhaps because they got a lot in common.

From being caught between opposing morality, difficulty in finding a niche in the DC comics, even in trying to discover who their mothers are. Its can be validating to know people who understand what your going through.

Little more focus on Owen's relations, I said that Barry has been trying to steer Owen towards good but I also think that Barry just thinks that Owen is just a fun little guy in general. I'd think they get along pretty well, Wally looks so pissed tho. There was this one comic where Hal had Wally as a sidekick for a day and Barry was pretty jealous. Guess the reverse is happening here. Wally's a favored target for Owen's pranks, so this whole situation is just very annoying to him.

Here's Digger introducing Owen to the rogues, Leonard looks befuddled at all this (Digger got a girl preggo? crazy).

Wanted to have Digger and Owen watch cartoons together, so I looked up Australian cartoons, found something called Bluey. Apparently it's super popular, even adults like it. So I found some free cartoons on youtube and yeah. It really is that good. Look it up if you want to see some fun, relaxing cartoons with smart writing!

To finish off this mass of words, here's Owen being a goofball with Eddie and Jason. I'm slowly finding that Owen's got a pretty fun dynamic with most anyone I draw him with. So that's been fun.

All this and I still haven't gone into Meloni and Bart, but it's best if I leave that for later. Anyways, hoped you like all that!

*About Owen's age, the comics never specified what his age actually was. All I know he's in his twenties but still younger than Dick's age group. Young enough to be unsure of his place in the world, but old enough that his 'relationship' with Kara to be weird. I guess it'd be less weird in my au with a smaller age gap, but that's still not happening.

[clean-bands-dirty-stories]

Man Down ~ B.A.

A/n: I haven’t watched the show in a long enough time that I forgot all the crisis events and I don’t want to go back and watch any of them soooo I just made it Savitar era centered. Hints of Savitar x reader like. Everywhere. Sorry about that lol

Request: “...Barry x male reader, reader gets hurt trying to protect Barry during a crisis event?” By anon

Word Count: 5200+

MASTERLIST

When Caitlyn sat down next to me, we both knew it was too late, but I admired her for trying anyway. Even before she spoke, I knew what she was going to say. I could tell in the way her lips curved into a frown and her wide eyes begged, but her words had no energy to them, that she knew it too. That she recognized the way I was acting. That she saw through my calm and comforting and reassurance. My hopelessness underneath, mourning so much more than Iris West’s death.

Mourning my own.

It had been months of fighting back Savitar. So long trying to save Iris’ life. To change the future. They’d made some progress here and there, but…. Ultimately not enough. It was obvious that Barry wouldn’t be able to stop it. Wouldn’t be able to save her. And Barry Allen couldn’t live without Iris West.

What kind of friend would I be if I didn’t do everything in my power to keep them together?

A different back and forth had been happening, other than the battle of wills between Barry and his time duplicate. A battle of love. For years, I’d longed for Barry to stop looking at his best friend and to pay attention to me. To level those adoring eyes and loving gazed onto me instead of her. He never did. Sometimes I thought he might, almost like he was considering it. Just like the days that Iris almost paid attention to Barry. Almost saw him as something other than a brother, as she had decided he was. Almost.

Almost only counted in horseshoes and hand grenades, as the song goes. So I’d decided that if it came down to it - me or her - Barry would chose her. He already had, and he would again. He would be mad at me for doing this. He would be so, so angry. But he’d get over it eventually. He’d move on and reconcile. They’d fall in love one day. There was a newspaper by line proving it. He would be happy with her. One day his almost would turn into an absolute. He might not forget his friend, who had once been, but he would be happier in the end if this was me instead of her.

So I would die instead.

“Please don’t do it.”

I smiled when Caitlyn finally spoke. It was a lie when I smiled, when I looked at her with confusion. “Do what?”

Her gaze bore into mine. “I don’t know.” There was already mourning in her tone. Oh Caitlyn… poor Caitlyn. How much had she lost? How many? My one regret - I could t spare my other friends from my loss. “I don’t know what you’re planning, but you’ve been acting different. And it’s worrying me.”

I looked away, face scrunched as I worked on the design Cisco had asked me to work on. He had a new suit idea for the future, and being more gifted with a needle than him, I was usually the one he went to. I hoped to finish it before it was too late. Now it was an easy thing to focus on. To play casual with. “You worry too much Caitlyn.” A boldfaced lie. We all knew she worried exactly as much as she should. All her friends were suicidally wreckless. “I have no plans.” Another lie. I looked up at her, smiling again. “I’m worried about Iris too, but I know Barry will pull through. He always does.” I winked, nudging her. Too many lied for what was probably our last person to person conversation. “I promise, okay?”

She didn’t respond to that. She looked at the suit I was making. Like it was proof. And it was, in a way. Hadn’t I not been working on it this whole time? Hadn’t I said it would take me a while? Hadn’t I told Cisco it would be a while, with the little details I had to work out and all the stress around us? Too much stress, too much to do, not enough time to handle it all.

The fact that I was making time for this - I might have yelled it was my final act at the top of my lungs. Not that I had to, for the people that could see the unspoken words in the way I said goodbye and the words I didn’t say and the things I did or didn’t do. Not for people like Caitlyn. She would have always ended up here, unable to stop me but desperate to try, knowing I would do anything to save Barry from the agony he was facing. Knowing that I loved him enough to destroy myself.

Her best of all, who had seen it in her fiancé’s face the day he had promised to see her again, knowing he was doomed to die. Of Caitlyn. Poor, brilliant, amazing, wonderful Caitlyn. If only I could spare you from reliving this again…

I looked away, back toward my sewing. She didn’t believe me, we both knew it. But there was nothing else to be said. So we didn’t speak again, sitting in the last silence we’d get together. Too few days now until Iris was supposed to die. Until I would take her place instead.

-

“You know, it’s weird.” I looked up when Savatar spoke to me, no longer startled at the way he simply appeared in my room. He had been doing this since the day he had been exposed for who he was. The first time it had been terrifying, but it had soon become clear as to why he did it anyway, and over time I had gotten used to it.

“What’s weird?” I asked calmly, returning to my sewing. “The fact that you keep breaking into your future partner’s bedroom before even meeting in your own proper timeline, or the fact that I’m seeing a suit you don’t recognize?”

Savitar fought a smile. He was doom and gloom unless he was around me. Apparently in the future we fell in love or whatever. I couldn’t imagine knowing what I know now, and still falling in love with him. Knowing what he would do. Who he would become. How he would destroy the man I love now. Apparently, the future was a wild place. Or… would have been. How it’ll never have happened. Not for me and not for hun.

Perhaps we were soulmates after all.

“I knew I shouldn’t have reacted to that suit you’re making. Spoilers.”

I snorted, unable to handle the hilarity in a time duplicate coming backward in time to kill someone just to ensure his own existence, using Barry’s memories to put himself on top the whole time. He was a walking spoiler. His backstory alone was the most raw look into what was supposed to happen yet.

“So not the suit then,” I decided on, looping back to his original comment. “What’s weird?” I looked up at him briefly before returning to my work. I couldn’t help the tender spot I had for him. He was a darker, sadder Barry. All the same memories and expressions and body language but with more pain than even my Barry had. It was in my very blood and bones to want to cheer him up. To want to make it better. That I did understand. I knew that a future me would have carried that softness and kindness toward him. He had mention that was how he had fallen in love with me - the one who treated him like a person, who recognized and cared for him.

Perhaps that was how I managed to fall in love with him as well. The way that he was Barry enough to count, but different enough that it wasn’t bitter. Wasn’t overwhelming. Different enough that he wasn’t obsessed with Iris. We probably would have been happy.

Savitar watched me, as if studying me. “I love watching your mind work. All the things you never say that simply click together in your mind.” He swallowed, and I knew he was thinking about how much he missed me. Future me, who loved him without guilt. I wonder if he visited the older me when he wasn’t actively spending time taunting Barry and making plans to kill Iris. I wonder if future me knew where he was, what he was doing.

I sighed. He was right, I really did have too many thoughts to speak them out loud so rarely. He really did know me like no one else did. It was jarring. “You didn’t answer my question. What’s weird?”

His smile finally won out. It edged on a smirk, but was a little too soft around the edges while he looked at me. He looked so much less intimidating like this. So much more like Barry. “To see it happen like this. To see the seeds planted of our future even before we existed in the same way. To know you so deeply, when you don’t know me at all, knowing that later you’ll know me as deeply and I will be the one who’s surprised by it.” He sat down at the table across from me, studying my face. “I always wondered what it was like to go into a relationship knowing someone, hearing stories, being aware of the steps even before they happen. When I opened my eyes the first time and you smiled at me. When I realized that you were different, and I found out that you knew me all this time ago. I wondered if you started falling in love with me before I was created. I wondered if my coming back in time was an influence for you, as you being so familiar and comfortable with me so quickly was an influence for me. I had this idea in my mind that we were this never ending cycle. That we ended up together simply because we already knew we would end up together.”

My smile grew dry. “Time travel is a weird one,” I agreed. “And I can imagine what you mean. But… no. I don’t know when my future self fell in love with you, but it wasn’t now. It isn’t now for me at least. Maybe now that the future has changed it’ll be different.” I shrugged, not looking up. Thinking about how I would die, driven by my love for Barry. About how I would never get the chance to fall in love with Savitar to begin with.

His eyes narrowed. He leaned forward, catching my wrist. I looked up at him - and I saw it in his eyes. I saw the understanding and the accusation. I saw the rage there, as I’d seen it in Caitlyn. The mourning turning quickly to denial. To refusal. He saw my resolve, my plan, even though he couldn’t understand what it was or how I had come up with it. Why I had.

“What are you planning?” He demanded.

I met his eyes evenly, deflating a bit. It was harder to lie to this man. Not just because of his face, or his voice. Not just because he was so like Barry that he had a hold on me from day one. Now he was his own man, esperare from Barry, and he still had a hold on me. A part of me perhaps already did care for him. Perhaps that was the part that would have loved him one day. If we’d had the chance.

“I don’t have a plan.” My voice was even and unrelenting. His eyes flared with anger for a moment, and it seemed that he might lash out. But I was special to him. He didn’t know Iris, and he specifically hated Barry. Everyone else was lost to him. Strangers who estranged themselves. Who shut him out first. But me? I was supposed to be the love of his life. He couldn’t be the monster he became so easily around the others. The violence he didn’t struggle to harness for them was impossible with me. We both knew it. He melted, slowly at first but then very suddenly all at once. He fell from his chair, moving around the table at super speed to kneel in front of me. He turned my chair so that he could move close to me. His hands rested on my wrists, and he held my gaze. There was a deep desperation there. Pleading. Very like the look that Caitlyn had given me. “I don’t have your memories. I don’t remember what you did, or do, or how you change through time. I… I can only beg. I will do anything for you, just please let it happen.”

My frown twisted into almost a snarl. Almost. I couldn’t quite bring true bitterness to use against him either, as he could not summon violence against me. We were trapped in our love for each other. In our softness, at the very least. “Why would I do anything you asked me to?”

He searched my eyes, and then sighed with relief when he found it. Found the part of me still fighting to survive. He recognized that I hadn’t completely given up. Completely committed myself to death. What sentient creature didn’t have survival reflexes that fought to extend those last moments? Who didn’t cling to life, even when death was inevitable?

He saw that part of me that fought and he sought to encourage it. “You find love after him. You’re so happy with me. We get married in the place from your dream board. Every dream you had comes true. You have a whole life, Y/n. You have eternity. It feels like eternity for us. It feels like forever. Where I’m from, it’s only been a few years, but I’ve been to the future. I’m a hero because of you. I take Barry’s place. That horrible world that he created for a while, when he leaves everyone behind - I fill it. You help me. We become the new team Flash. It’s… it’s different,” and it’s a plea when he says it. A desperate sell to get me to see the future he does. To want it. To believe in it. To fight for it. Or, more accurately, to not fight because of it. To give up and let it all happen. “But it’s ours. He never loves you. He never will. But I will. I see what he doesn’t. What he won’t. And we’re so much happier than they ever could have been. We’re worth it. We’re worth this.”

I can’t help myself. Even for Savatar, who I want to hate, who I’m going to destroy, I can’t bring myself not to want to reassure him. As I reassured Caitlyn last time, and have reassured Harry and Cisco and Barry and Iris and even Joe. I lean close, and I press a kiss to his forehead. His eyes flutter close and he leans into me, hands loosening their death grip as he melts into the affection. The first time I have showed it to him, as I am. A sign that I am capable of becoming the person who loves him. A beacon of hope I’m sure. I kiss him and I hold him when he leans into me and I close my eyes and, worst of all, I lie to him. “I won’t do it. I won’t do anything. I want that future with you. I want to be happy. I want to be loved. I want to be with you.” And it isn’t a complete lie. There are truths there that ring in my voice, making it warmer and filling it with light and hope and joy.

Half lies are so much easier to believe.

And he does believe them.

Savitar leans away from me, a hand rising to push hair behind my ear as he looks into my gaze and sees tears. “Can I kiss you?” He asked this question only once, always seeking out how much affection he’s allowed to show me. Until now, I couldn’t face something like that. The betrayal to Barry that it would be. We barely got to hugging until tonight.

But tonight… I’m going to die for Barry. I’m going to give him the ultimate sacrifice for his happiness. I can be a little selfish. Take a small betrayal for myself.

“Yes,” I whisper. Savitar doesn’t wait to be told again - he just kisses me. He has been waiting for this and I can tell. I’ve been waiting for it too, and that takes me by surprise. This weird in between, where kissing him is the daydream of kissing Barry that I have king craved, but also something completely new and separate and not about Barry at all. The part of me that will always love Barry meets the part of me that finds it easier and easier to love Savitar and I finally understand. They are the same part. I never moved on from Barry to love Savitar. It was new and also the same. Me getting everything I ever wanted and also something completely different. Me holding onto what I’ve been holding onto since day one, but also letting it go too. I didn’t move on from Barry - it was like dating his brother or his best friend. It was unfair to Savitar and even more unfair to me.

This darker me with these far more selfish desires…. It was sickening to think about. How could I have done this?

Now it was clearer than ever that I was going to go with the plan I’d picked. I was sure. I wouldn’t become the person Savitar knew me as. I wouldn’t let that version of me win. Not this time. Not ever.

-

The device wrapped around my wrist, disguised as a bracelet, had a wire attached that ran underneath my long sleeve, up my arm to the power source on my chest. The full body machine had been beautifully effective in making me not only look like Iris West, but being one hundred convincing in proving that I was her. I could smell her perfume, reach up and almost feel the curl on her hair. I would die as Iris West and no one would have time to recognize me, let alone stop me. They’d only have time to mourn me. And with Savatar’s defeat following so close after my own, I doubted they’d have the capacity to do anything other than celebrate.

Just as they always did. Take a moment and then let it go. Continue to be happy and successful, as the friends we’d lost along the way would want. And that was true, I did want them to be happy. I only wished I could have seen it.

Savatar had me in his grip, and I flinched as he gripped me a little too tightly. There was no softness now. No tenderness spared for the person he loved. I was Iris to him now. He wouldn’t realize he had killed the person most precious to him until it was too late.

I felt bad for him. It felt terrible that I was making him do this. That he was choosing to do it. That, perhaps, the forces of the universes drove him to be in such a position that we were all partially guilty. For treating him poorly. For having to kill Iris to survive. To choose between the woman he loved once, and the person he would come to love after. To chose between the man he had once been and the man he was made into after he wasn’t that man anymore. After he stopped being Barry and everyone turned on him.

My eyes closed when his fingers wrapped around my throat, my head tilting back as I felt the sun on my face for the last time.

Barry screamed.

Someone else screamed even louder.

My eyes flew open, recognizing Iris’s voice. She had her blazer opened, revealing the device on her chest. The one I had out there to turn her into me. To make her look like me so that she could hide until it was all over. So she could live.

What in the holy hell was she doing now?

Whatever it was, whatever play she had been trying to make at the last moment to save my life, it had been too late. Savatar flicked his wrist, gripping hard as he began to speed up, letting the speed force take him. He soon slammed to a halt as he processed that Iris was standing so far from him when she was supposed to be in his grip. That she was in two places at once.

Unfortunately for me, he had moved, and in shock he had loosened his grip. Barry didn’t have super strength, neither did Savatar. I ripped from him, going flying as my body rag dolled. I slammed into something solid. A tree? A wall? I couldn’t quite tell, my vision was blurry and spotted and for a second I couldn’t breathe. Everything spun and I was stunned - frozen in a moment of free fall and terror. Iris was supposed to have been zipped away, neck snapped and eyes dead to the world. Everything had gone wrong…

And then it went even worse.

The pain came all at once as my moment frozen in time ended. The agony of my burning body as I groaned while trying to scream. I realized immediately that my leg was broken and there was something wrong with my chest. Maybe a rib broken as well? Definitely a concussion. I blinked my eyes and saw blood around my face. Oh… I had hit something very hard indeed. Several broken things and a head wound. I was horribly injured, but perhaps not mortally.

Savitar was above me, tears streaming down his face. “Why?” He was asking, over and over again. Trying to understand. Failing to do so. I realized that in the process of my injury, the machine hiding who I was had broken. I was exposed as myself now, and all his softness was back. No betrayal. No anger. Just loss. Only mourning.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered. And I realized that I had said it every single time he had asked me. A mantra of my own to match his.

He had lost the chance to kill Iris. In running to my side, the time had passed and as he looked down at me we both knew it. Love had won out in the end. But not our love. His love for me maybe, but my love for Barry. Barry’s love for Iris. A cycle of unrequited, unreturned devotion. An unending string of broken hearts.

As the pain took over and I went unconscious, I saw his skin begin to fade away, turning into waves of light and energy. He unwound and spun off into the breeze, and he cried for me and I cried for him and we watched the other fade away as our friends watched the two of us, unsure if or even how to help.

The last thing I saw was him, still asking why, me still answering in echoing apologies, and my friends still watching in horror.

-

I woke up in the infirmary bed that Barry had laid in, in a coma a few years ago now. I woke up to see him sitting in a chair next to me, as I’d sat in a chair next to him. I had been apart of the team building the particle accelerator. I had been a designer. An engineer. I put metal and fabric together with the same fingers, the same methods. Back then I hadn’t been here for the day it all went wrong. I’d moved onto another project, one I’d be kicked from when my name got dragged through the mud and my credibility was demolished. Caitlyn, Wells, and Cisco had welcomed me back with open arms, and though I couldn’t do much in studying Barry, I was a good comfort. Even with him unconscious I’d found myself falling for him in the stories that were told and the things people shared with him while unconscious to get him to respond. To get him to come back. I admired hun through their eyes, and felt their love until he one day was awake and had become my friend and I got to love him in a way that was all my own.

Now it was a bit startling to see him next to me, hand holding mine and completely unconscious. Just as he had found me the first day he had woken up. Dutiful and beside him like a guardian. A watcher, waiting for him to wake him as he waited for me now.

“Barry?” I went to pull my hand away and he stirred immediately, desperately holding onto me as he lifted his head, blinking bleary eyes heavy with sleep. He looked around the room, obviously not expecting the interruption to have come from me. How many times had the others had to drag him from this room? Oh god why did that make my heart do somersaults?

When he realized I was awake he light up. Still tired but far more alert, as it super charged by seeing me awake and seemingly better. I hurt but I could muster a smile and that seemed to be enough. He whispered my name, pressing his lips to my knuckles. “You’re awake,” he mumbled dreamily. Like it was the most important news he had ever gotten.

I couldn’t help it. I blushed. “Yes. I am.”

He chuckled and I watched him as he wiped sleep from his eyes. “Sorry,” he apologized. “Didn’t mean to fall asleep. I’ve been doing that a lot, here, in this chair. Gotta be bad for my back.” He tilted his head in an attempt to pop his neck, but didn’t let go of my hand.

“Barry,” I began slowly, eyes narrowing as I tried to make sense of what was happening in front of me. “I’m lost.”

He smiled, as if I had done something rather adorable. These were one of those almost-maybe moments where I thought he might have loved me if things were different. It took me by surprise now, lasting longer than it usually did. His tender admiration didn’t fade or switch out or get embarrassed or distracted and flee. He turned his full attention toward me without hesitation. “I can imagine how… disorienting it would be. To almost die trying to save Iris for me, only to wake up and… it’s all different now.”

I quirked an eyebrow. “Different how?”

He grew quiet for a moment, holding my hand and letting his thumb run back and forth across my skin. When he spoke, I found that I hadn’t been breathing the whole time. It was too much but I didn’t dare stop him. I didn’t dare stop him. “When I realized it had been you the whole time. That all this time, I had been watching you die. Not Iris. Or, maybe Iris, but that this time it was you. That somewhere maybe it changed. I saw something else too. I saw her guilt, and found out how long she’d known what you were doing. She didn’t even come that day - Harry did. Disguised as Iris to save you, willing to sacrifice his life for yours. Both of you so brave and amazing. And… I can’t imagine what it would be like to know you were going to die and then seeing an alternative. But, I understood you more than I did her after that. You get me in a way she never will. I sacrifice myself for people too. That’s what being a hero is about. And I am a hero to some people. I try to be a hero as much as I can be. I want to be a person who stands with pride. Not with guilt. And… it made me love you even more. It made me realize that I’ve had these feelings for you for a while.”

I blinked. “That’s impossible.”

Barry laughed, once, startled by my reaction. “You’d have thought. I was sick over Iris…” he shook his head. “But I realized, it was obsession more than love. I was fixated on her. I couldn’t have any other relationships, couldn’t even entertain them. I was trapped by this idea of destiny. The newspaper and Earth 2 and Eobard Thawne and Eddie dying. It was like we had this great destiny. Like I had to be with her. I was expected to be. It was all leading to this. And I realized that a part of it was that it felt useless to try anything else. My future had already been decided. And part of it was that it felt like a prize. For being a hero, and for being patient. For waiting for her. It felt like a reward.” He scowled. “And I realized that’s a super toxic mentality to have. Iris isn’t s prize, or a reward - she’s a person. And I kept treating her like she was only going to be happy if she was with me. That we were two halves of a whole. But she’s a whole person by herself, and she’s capable and worthy of happiness on her own.” He shrugged. “Between that and my love for you, surging in this moment… I just felt like an idiot. I’d spent so much time wasted on a relationship I’d already failed by feeling like I was owed something. I’m not, and it’s different with you. Freer. This happened naturally, and despite everything else. Against all odds. It was given to me, I worked for it. No destiny, no predetermination. Just you and me. No god or fate involved. And I like it better this way.”

My heart surged, and my eyes went wide. “Barry Allen, did you just say you’re in love with me?”

He laughed, this time for a while, and he kissed my hand again. “That was.. a lot, all at once.” He sighed, grabbing my hands between both of his. “I’m sorry, let’s start with something more simple. How are you feeling?”

I couldn’t help but grin. “Wonderful.”

He beamed back. “Perfect. Can I kiss you?”

It felt like a dream as I whispered, “Yes.” He kissed me and I thought about when I had kissed Savitar. We had both dodged relationships that were bad for us. He had been obsessed with Iris his entire life, eternally pining and blinded, treating her like so much less than a person. And I had done the same with Savitar. Iris had been an idea to him, as Savitar was a missed opportunity I had seized in a new and different way.

How much better that we lived in the timeline where s’more genuine love won out. That we chose each other and got to be our best selves, instead of pushing for relationships that we wanted no matter the cost. No matter protest or person. This… this was freer. More innocent. Kinder.

“I love you,” I whispered, and I felt no guilt. Only joy. I imagine that the other me must have felt a lot of guilt. But not this me. Not this time. Finally I was free of that.

“I love you too,” he whispered back, and I heard it in his voice too. The freedom. The joy. The love.

How wonderful was that?

-

Male Readers: @ravenpuff-oli @sortzz @fadedver

[starsinkpop]

ATEEZ Kim Hongjoong Tarot Reading - Personality

Disclaimer: I do tarot readings for fun, so please read them with a grain of salt. Don’t take my words too seriously and just keep an open mind. Tarot is a divination tool that can’t predict the future, as every single individual has their own will and makes their own decisions. Tarot is not a fixed fate. It should be seen as a guidance and a good friend that just has your best interest and gives you advice when needed. I’m not putting anyone in my readings on a pedestal nor am I trying to harm anyone. One last side note, I’m not a native speaker, so please excuse any wrong spellings or poor grammar.

Date of reading: June 30th 2024

Decks: Edgar Allen Poe Tarot, Wild Mystic Oracle

is often confused about his own emotions

this makes him quite insecure and he could be dependent on others opinions

he’s very stubborn

but this comes from a place of self protection

at times he could lose control

has his head everywhere and nowhere

like he’s having so many projects (in his career but also privately) running at the same time and wants to give his 100% in every single one but that’s just impossible

he regularly has some quite dark and negative thoughts

those thoughts are creating extra obstacles in his life

he’s very nurturing and takes good care of his loved ones

finds beauty in things and people society would usually reject

he’s incredibly creative (obviously lol)

i also see him being very romantic and soft

doesn’t shy away from change and growth

i’m getting crazy mood swings

one second he’s stuck in a negative spiral and the next second he’s a happy little sunshine

he’s unpredictable in a way

is easily bored

focuses on building wealth and security for himself but also his loved ones

he’s sometimes restraining himself from a fun time because of that, work comes first

he’s very hard working but ignores his mental health at times

he’s often exhausted and stressed, which again, could end up in him losing his temper when triggered

has a hard time finding a good work life balance

but he loves to ignore that, literally blind for his own wellbeing and he could therefore burnout himself pretty easily

he often feels like his dreams are out of reach

he almost seems shameful to think too much about his dreams

it’s coming from a place of false hope and doubt

got his heart broken very often and could have a hard time opening up to new people, especially if there’s a romantic interest

he has a hard time showing his true emotions

he feels like he has to be a strong person at all times, even when he sometimes feels very deeply broken

is very protective over his loved ones but often wishes someone would protect him this much so he could rest his mind and let his guard down

when people cross his boundaries he can get aggressive

he sometimes feels lost and lacks direction in his life

he wants to embrace his softer side more often but feels like society won’t allow him to

he easily feels discouraged and could find it hard to find joy and happiness

he’s a loyal and reliable friend and lover

but could deal with jealousy

hope you enjoyed!

love, nicky 🫧

masterlist

[marshmallow-biscuit-blog]

Yo they are done. Sassafras (Allen's mom) and Burdock (Allen's dad) Mom's been updated to not be such a pos. She felt trapped the whole time, unable to find the emotional/mental strength to get out of the familial situation, and taking Allen with her. So because of that they both suffered. But I think the tumblr folk know exactly how much mental health can destroy you, and that's exactly what it did for her. Not an excuse, but an explaination. The second Burdock dies, she literally fucking goes to find Allen and apologize because the chains on her finally snapped and she was 'free' so to say. She actually loves Allen, even if she's overwhelmed to a point of snapping at him/ taking things out on him verbally. Yet unlike Burdock, she always apologized to Allen, and tried her best to reassure him that she loved him. Burdock on the other hand... just a pos lol. Won't get all into it here, but yeah. Didn't want to marry Sassafras, certainly didn't want a kid, wants nothing to do with them. Sassa is the one who gave Allen a tiny bit of money (what she had) when he had Rooty and had to raise her on his own. (yes they are indeed based off a certain arranged marriage from a certain tim burton movie except they're poor af and never were rich lmfao)

[mothmage]

13 Books Tag Game

tagged by @disregardandfelicity (thank you <3)

i read a ton of non-fiction for academic and interest reasons, but i'm only considering fiction for this!

1) The last book I read:

I know I just said I was only talking about fiction, BUT I recently read Audre Lorde's memoir, The Cancer Journals, and I would highly recommend it. Lorde was such an incredible writer (i would recommend her poetry, too), and this book is half memoir and half sections from the personal diary she kept during and after her journey with breast cancer. Lorde was a self-professed Black lesbian feminist, and had unique and powerful takes on womanhood, cancer, and life in general.

2) A book I recommend:

I always recommend Perfume the Story of a Murderer by Patrick Süskind! It's one of my favorite books.

3) A book that I couldn’t put down:

I've been working my way through Anne Rice's Vampire Chronicles and averaging about two days per book, so...lol. I would also add Carolina de Robertis's Gods of Tango, I think I read all 400 pages in one sitting.

4) A book I’ve read twice (or more):

I loooove to reread books. One of my absolute favorite go-to comfort books is Bambi by Marjorie Benton Cooke -- it's not about the deer, it's sort of a romcom? The characters are all so vivid and fun! You have the main character, Bambi, who is a very Anne of Green Gables type character -- she's independent, imaginative, a bit of a daydreamer, loves to dance, and decides one day to be a writer. Then there's her adoptive father, the Professor, who is a mathematician and just an eccentric little old man. Then there's Jarvis -- the poor poverty-stricken playwright with his head in the clouds that very clearly thinks he's the main character of this story (he is, kind of. He's the love interest, but not in the way you think). That was long, but it's honestly one of my favorite books! Marjorie Benton Cooke wrote a handful of really fun books in her lifetime that just never got super popular (I also love Cinderella Jane and The Cricket, which are connected but can be read alone).

5) A book on my TBR:

My fiction TBR is currently sitting at 141, so...random selection: Things Have Gotten Worse Since We Last Spoke by Eric LaRocca! It was highly recommended by a friend.

6) A book I’ve put down:

I have a rule where, unless the issue is stylistic and I just can't bear the author's writing, I have to power through 50% of the book before I can quit, in case it gets better later. A lot of times, this works, and I end up really liking the book! But one book I tried my absolute hardest to like and just couldn't manage it (quit at 70%) was A Certain Hunger by Chelsea G. Summers. I found the narrator unlikable in an annoying way and the story itself boring (how do you make serial killing and cannibalism boring??) IDK. It came highly recommended and apparently was super popular, but it wasn't for me.

7) A book on my wish list:

Let us Descend by Jesmyn Ward! It came out last year, but I haven't had a chance to look at it yet (fingers crossed my library has a copy by the time I have some free time to read).

8) A favorite book from childhood:

Silksinger, the second book in the Faeries of Dreamdark series by Laini Taylor. The series was never finished, but the characters from Silksinger hold a special place in my heart. One of the main characters is called Hirik Mothmage, for reference how much I love this book, lol.

9) A book you would give to a friend:

Ooh, good question. I recently gave someone my copy of Boccaccio's Decameron, because I think it's funny!! I really feel like if people can get through the language, they'll be dead laughing at some of the stories.

10) A book of poetry or lyrics that you own

I have a handful! My favorite is probably a collection of Edgar Allen Poe's works that's bound in a nice cover.

11) A nonfiction book you own:

Many, lol. Mostly digital -- I try not to hoard physical books unless I really really love them, because I just don't have the space. Something I read a few years ago and still think about often is Dorothy Roberts's Killing the Black Body: Race, Reproduction, and the Meaning of Liberty, which talks about how the 20th century (U.S.) struggle for reproductive rights looked very different for white women and Black women (for Black women, it was essentially the right to reproduction). Her newer book Fatal Invention: How Science, Politics, and Big Business Recreate Race in the Twenty-First Century is a great follow-up read.

12) What are you currently reading:

Currently re-reading another memoir, The Surrendered: Reflections by a Son of Shining Path by José Carlos Agüero. Picking up Pandora by Anne Rice as soon as I have some time for fiction.

13) What are you planning on reading next?

Besides the rest of the Vampire Chronicles, I really want to read Let the Right One In by John Ajvide Lindqvist (another friend recommendation).

No-pressure tagging: @eosphoroz @hekateinhell @lovevamp @aunteat @bubblegum-blackwood or anyone else who wants to -- tag me if you do, i love stuff like this!

[vexic929]

Do Hamelin and Erdős count? They haunt me in a good way as in I love them very much and would probably die for them.

In Aftermath; " As Hartley sat there, lost in his thoughts, the despair suffocating, " to " , not the capable adult he'd become. " THAT WHOLE PART HAUNTS ME. It's so raw and emotional and it h u r t s. Poor Hartley :(((((

And in Chapter 5 of the Beth Allen ficlets; " "Happy birthday, Barr." She whispered, heart heavy. "Wake up soon, okay?" " SO there's a specific reason this haunts me (aside from the writing being really good)-- the first time I read the fic, I was super tired and missed some parts (have reread it since) and the fact that it was Barry's birthday was one of those parts💀 so to me it was a dramatic reveal and it worked super well😂

aww yayyyyyyy I'm glad Hamelin and Erdős stuck with you so well I love them! and thank youuuuuuuuuu I love writing emotional turmoil! and I'm still pretty proud of that bit myself lol <3333

also lol dramatic birthday reveal I love that XD

[shrinkthisviolet]

🥰😂😭😔 I love angst lol

🥰 : A fluff WIP snippet

“Getting cocky, Mr. Allen?” Morgan teased. “Hey, you heard Caitlin. Faster metabolism and more endurance than anyone else.” “Almost anyone else,” Caitlin corrected, amused.

~1x8 to 1x14 Morgan AU fic

😂 : A funny or crack WIP snippet

“TIE incoming!” Luke called, which did answer the question of Finn’s urgency—from what Rey had heard of the Empire, TIE fighters were only sent in dire situations. But the Empire’s long dead…so who sent the TIEs? “All of this over Luke kriffing Skywalker,” Rey muttered, just before an explosion sent her flying.

~sunshine twins fic (first installment of a time travel AU!)

😭 : Angst or sad WIP snippet

“I don’t know, Lucy!” Leia sighed, then lowered her voice. “Look, you said you can feel Luke in the Force, right?” “Like a guiding light, yes, but that only tells me if he’s dead or alive, and it’s no help when we can’t even do anything!” Lucy’s voice hitched as a sob rose sharply in her throat.

~ESB Lucy AU fic

😔 : Published lines or a section of a fic that was super sad, angsty, or difficult to write?

“Zuko, you…” her heart stuttered, “you have to get up, we have to…to find Izzy, we have to go, we—” “You know,” he murmured, “when I saw you out there, it reminded me of my favorite poem. My mother used to love poems. Plays too, but poems most of all.” “I know,” Mai whispered, tears streaming down her cheeks. “And she used to read you one in particular: When the soul lies down in that grass, the world is too full to talk about. I remember, Zuko.” “What you seek,” Zuko whispered, “is seeking you.”

~main gehra tamas tu sunehra savera (main tera)

Poor Maiko 😭 I feel bad, but...it makes for great angst. Definitely ripped out my heart to write, though.

fanfic ask game!

[kitkatt0430]

Alrighty, now that I've taunted my dog (mostly unintentionally) with popcorn, time for Episode #12 of the final season of the Flash.

Starts with a trippy recap of Eddie's breakdown as he finally remembers who he really is. Korber hanging out with him for now as the voice of reason which he rejects. She's got a point - he could be a clone or a cyborg.

Eddie - I need to find the Flash.

He's still keeping Barry's secret there. Anyway, this is how Westhallen can still win... *he has to find Iris when he starts to remember her, then has to find Barry after remembering him... Westhallen, Westhallen, Westhallen...*

When Korber tries to stop Eddie, the singularity from the S1 finale comes back briefly to eat her. That, uh... that made no sense. But, okay, moving on, opening credits time.

Khione and Iris playing telephone via Allegra. That's gotta be a bit annoying for Iris.

SF!Nora giving more exposition. 2049 must be when Eddie is since the N!SF is clearly gearing him up for the open avatar position and it's headed that way, dragging Barry along for the ride. How exactly killing the Barry Allen of 2023 in the year 2049 would destroy the timeline as it stands from 2000 to 2023 I have no idea, but it wouldn't be the first time they've had an evil plot that makes no sense nearly erase Barry from existence, so... *shrug*

So it's 2049 and everyone appears to have stopped aging. Cecile has a touch of gray hair in like... two small places. Maybe. Allegra's got a track suit as her super suit. I mean, better than a rainbow robe, but... she looks like she bought it at a sporting goods store.

Chester - Who would suspect Team Flash works under the Flash Museum? Cut to Eddie looking for Barry in the museum.

lol

Though, seriously, the museum was originally HR's idea. I miss him. It was a good idea. And I'm glad someone - Chester, I suppose - finally went through with it at some point.

Poor Eddie, finding out that his death didn't stop the Reverse Flash from returning while at the museum. Blonde!Nora who shows up to further screw with Eddie's mind is clearly the N!SF appearing for him. Not exactly creative, but the N!SF is showing Eddie something that's Barry's - a daughter he had with Iris - and saying 'what if this was yours? She should have been yours, after all.'

And there's the singularity again, created by the N!SF Nora. (So many Noras...)

I do love that real Nora recognizes Eddie on sight.

Allegra - Why is he here and why hasn't he aged a day? Me - You're one to talk. It's been about twenty-five years, you look like you're still in your twenties.

Eddie opening the singularities in moments of high emotion makes sense - I like the comparison to that time Chester was a black hole.

Eddie's expression when Nora's mask comes off... heartbreaking since the N!SF manipulated him into seeing her as his daughter first. He's having such a terrible day.

Meanwhile back at the ranch (2023), Mark professes his love of Barry Allen. I don't ship it.

Nora is the next victim of the N!SF's cobalt blue crystal of evilness. Which makes the most sense out of everyone it's possessed so far. Nora 1.0 actually used the N!SF at one point, which could be a point of vulnerability for Nora 2.0 since the N!SF has familiarity with her mind.

And of course, Nora's the perfect person to keep manipulating Eddie with - after all, just the image of her earlier was nearly enough to get Eddie to follow her into the singularity.

Past Cecile possessing her future self was nifty, but of course it goes wrong because of her confidence issues.

N!SF possessing Nora and harping on Eddie being forgotten by history despite how obvious it isn't he hasn't been forgotten. Not by the police force or Team Flash or by the people who loved him most. But I can also see why Eddie is struggling to see that - because it's hard feeling left behind, like they all moved on and had amazing lives and his stopped before he achieved all the things he wanted in his life.

Korber, the rookie, is Captain of the CCPD and maybe that's something Eddie wanted for himself when he was a Detective. He loved Iris and they were going to get married, but now she's married to Barry instead. Nora is representative of that relationship leading to at least one kid (where is Bart, anyway?) and the museum shows how Barry's legacy as the Flash has only continued to grow. For Eddie, everything stopped in a single moment, in a choice he can't take back but wishes he could.

With all that regret, it's hard for him to see how all the good he did do still lives on.

And Eddie is still trying to resist the N!SF's manipulations.

Barry arrives! Just in time for N!SF to use Nora to kick his ass. But Eddie interrupts and Barry runs off with Eddie. Soooo happy to see Eddie. HUGS!!!!

Look, seriously, this is how Westhallen can still win!!!

Eddie calls him Bar, I've missed that. (still chanting 'Westhallen' mentally, mmkay)

Eddie finally feeling safe enough to break down crying because Barry's there with him. He'd been looking for Barry because Barry would know what to do. And now, finally, he's found Barry and they start piecing together what's happening.

okay, so 2049 is when Jenna isn't gonna be living with Cecile and Joe anyway, so what's to say Joe isn't going back and forth between Central City and the other place with Cecile anyway? Cecile is freaking out over something she has no real context for. Though I think this backs up my comments from previous episodes where I noted Cecile would be happier if she'd left with Joe and Jenna and only commuted for her lawyer work.

Eddie - What if the only way for me not to die is to agree to be the avatar. Barry - no, we'll find a way to save you. Not letting you die again.

Eddie listening to the voices in his head instead of Barry. Oh, yeah, that'll go over well.

So, Eddie high on the N!SF's corruption sounds a hell of a lot like Eobard. Which brings me back to the question of whether Eobard is the way he is because the N!SF corrupted him or if the N!SF is the way it is because it patterned itself after it's creator. Clearly it's corrupting Eddie into being more like Eobard.

Barry vs possessed Nora is an awesome fight to watch. They're just playing tag all over the city.

Aww, "It's me. Your Eddie."

Iris with the gray in her hair. Why is she the only one allowed to age?

I mean... I get that artificially aging actors always winds up looking ridiculous, but not aging them makes it look like they found the fountain of youth. There has to be some kind of balance...

Eddie still wants to do the right thing at this point, even if it means dying again. He just wanted to see Iris one last time. But the N!SF takes advantage of that, causing him to see the picture change and... Eddie's real self gets subsumed by the corruption. Like a switch flipped.

Cecile finally got to be badass on screen. Finally.

So Iris saying it was always Barry is completely opposite of the choice Iris made in S1. I've said it before and I'll say it again. Iris choose Eddie over Barry in S1. Even knowing how she felt about Barry at the end of the season, she chose Eddie.

Denying that now insults S1 Iris' choice. It's making Iris say that yes, everyone knew better than her what her own feelings were. And as someone who has had people claim to know my feelings better than I do over and over again over the years, I really, really hate that. They weren't right with me and Iris should be allowed to say that she knew her own mind too. That she chose Eddie. But he died and she moved on and the life she has now is also one she chose. And one that she'll fight to keep because it's hers.

okay, so the timeline destructing finally makes sense, mostly

Barry - You're as beautiful as the day we got married. Iris - I haven't seen you like this in so long. It's weird.

*snicker* Though, uh, no one else has aged, so I wouldn't think 2049 Barry has either.

Oh, hey, there goes Barry getting yoinked through time again.

Eddie gets one final temptation and gives in to the crystal to deliberately open a singularity. Apparently to summon up four speedsters whom Barry defeated before. The ghosts of failed speedsters past, or whatever.

Thus endeth the episode.

I'm not sure how well Eddie's feelings of entitlement towards Iris actually work for me? I mean... in S1, the person who acted the most entitled towards Iris was... Barry. And Barry's grown up a lot since then. I mean, Eddie's mind screw works pretty well over all, but it wasn't in S1 Eddie to force Iris to be with him if that isn't what she wanted. And that should be where the N!SF fails with Eddie and has to backtrack. That it's where it succeeds instead...

It kinda feels like they're slamming an Eddie shaped puzzle piece into a picture that it doesn't actually fit.

I am still wondering what's up with the blue flowers. O_o

I think I'm also disappointed that the Cobalt Blue we seem to be getting is in name only.

We've got the Cobalt Blue Crystal of EVIL which just... possess people. Eddie seems to have power over the singularities, which he likely received with the accelerator exploded but weren't triggered until his death.

Cobalt Blue, however, had the power of the Thawne family blue flames. These could heal, create temporary objects from the flames, or temporarily steal powers from other metas. Malcolm used those powers to attempt to steal Barry's speed at least once, though there was a gem involved in that so the N!SF's crystal is likely a reference to that. But overall... this isn't really Cobalt Blue we seem to be getting. And I'm not surprised given what spoilers I've seen, but I'm still bummed about it.

One episode left to go.

[the-firebird69]

We do have a few things to note one of them is that we are in receipt of a lot of threats all in the world and it is what we said it was they are threatening the caverns and it is terrible there's a lot of threats against the caverns huge numbers.

-some poor lady gets socked tonight or something or fell over so Simon says this is for a scary monster movie and he goes up in a skit with Hera helping and says by the projected angle of the dangle and the bruise markings the attacker must have been 3 ft 6 in tall at least. She's taller almost her son's height and people are laughing but she isn't. She says m it's Hawthorne and not funny

He Hawthorne says hey not funny

So we're getting on with things and we have stuff going on but there are certain things happening and are father and mother need to know.

---+we have a war in the rings and The Everglades and we will say that it is pretty big we do need to keep track of it better it's time for that we also have several things to handle here the two are wondering the halls and they're blocking things we do need them out now. Feel the problems are causing and we listed with hours we want these people out of here these trumpsters they're getting hammered on and luckily they're kind of idiots about it and boy are they losing they've lost more cities in the Eastern hemisphere and only three hours he's down to seven very large out of 20 that he had and there's only 20 and he's down to about an 18 out of 70 large and he had all of them and he is down to about 80 out of 250 medium and we did say that before but we corrected it but now he's down there. That's pretty piss for in the cities that remain a very large ones are at about 30% still the large or at 25% and the medium are at 15% and they're falling fast they're being taken over and Tommy Allen will have a place he has about four very large and 20 large 100 medium answer well and the minority warlock have three very large two large and 100 medium all in the Eastern hemisphere. His stashes and caches and nuclear bunkers are really what his bunkers are it is only a few others in there in the cities. With some caverns below now they're finding out that he has a lot more but they're small or teeny really just had several millions and it's true and those range rooms 5 miles and under they're everywhere in 5 miles is not that small people are at them and they're getting their arms and they're going after these Trump people it's quite a scene and he's getting pummeled to a poem so he's here bothering our son and it's making it worse for him and his people everybody is attacking him to get him out of here what a nuisance so damn hard and this a****** keeps on doing stupid things. That a****** Dave next door is sitting there saying he's a cop and it's invincible is a moron so putting hit on him and the CIA is authorized it for their people and they have assassins or after him and he's going to go down

---a couple other things to mention is a big huge pile of cars coming in is of course not you're going to have a community event and a bunch of things here and it's going to help out and it really is necessary keep the place open so she get a lot of praise this morning that's great and it's kind of like a business person doesn't act it but that's kind of what she's doing and the other lady liked it too so you know I made it on a massive skills but you can do things people need and it's happening now and people get it.

---other things that are happening is a large number of people who are ordering things here always deliver people know where it is and they're telling people that he's there and some people are going to move in and this one that came already today she's here in request our son asked for some people from bja and I guess el volunteered. Lol. She overheard it on the radio okay. Love you first class down here at the airport limo drop her off nightmare it says I will have to live lower than him and it's terribly disgusting

---couple more things will announce in a moment

Thor Freya

Olympus

These people have decided to live like phones and act like them and were horrified we simply can't stand it we're angry and he's sitting here listening to us saying we're angry going good cuz you're stupid that's all there is to it bud that's what it is pals

Hera

[fullmetalgirl98]

30 days Paradox Live challenge

DAY 9: favorite team shuffle song

💿 「The Sound Of Voltage」 - SUZAKU & KANATA

(link)

Taking away all the implications that this song may have from a romantic pov, for those who ship these two, in one word: it SLAPS. And it slaps pretty hard. Already the premise with which this song came into being, with the whole "Let's try to compose songs by shuffling the teams!" thing proposed by Iori (I love you, man, but I think more than one person wanted your head, at that moment), makes me die laughing, if one takes into consideration that Allen ended up paired with Kanata, the last person in the world who'd want to spend more than 0.3 seconds in his company LOL (AND NAYUTA THAT SILENTLY DISAPPEARED, I CAN'T). So, already this is way comical in itself: the fanboy praising his idol … and the said idol who would just like to go somewhere and die after kicking the other's ass out of his house (poor Allen). (here for the drama track) But back to the point of the question. Let's start with the title. So, I start by saying that the concept of electricity/lightning is something that I love in general, so just the word "voltage", you know… Was itself a hint about the fact that this song was going to be AMAZING, even before I heard it. But it's then actually a bare bones truth, considering that it opens with the sound of thunder (someone in the background is screaming: ECSTASY!) Allen's rap and Kanata's rap fit together with perfect harmony! Kanata's very fast lyrics, alternating with Allen's more rhythmic and melodious ones, create a pace throughout the song that can't help but energize you, no matter what you're doing. I really love every single verse of this song, starting by the way Allen says "Yeah~ All You Need Is 爆発だろ!? 起こしたいのは革命だろ!?" (Yeah, all you want is an Explosion!? What you want is to rise up an Evolution!?) to the way Kanata gets aggressive in his verses. From a melodic pov, I think the part that drives me crazy is Allen's "Famous? Nameless?関係ないぜ My Status. I Am The Greatest, My Hip Hop Is The Latest". But obv I can't help but mention the "BOOM! Chemistry", which practically represents the perfect summary of the entire song lol (despite what Kanata thinks).

[roach-pizza]

[ID: A white square divided into four sections with writing in each.

Top Left: Good Good. "It's Good, and I liked it"

Top Right: Good Bad "It's Good, but I didn't like it"

Bottom Left: Bad Good "It's bad, and I liked it"

Bottom Right: Bad Bad "It's bad, and I didn't like it"]

I haven't seen this kind of chart yet, but I wanted to make something to show the difference between a piece of media that isn't to your tastes, verses something that's actually poor quality. If you wanna know what I mean I have a chart done with games, but this could include any media, including art and music.

Art is subjective, but there is a baseline skill that requires it, and sometimes some people don't have it even if they wanna do it really badly. However I will say that it's also important to know when you don't like a piece of media even if it's well made. Everyone has different tastes, and those should also be respected.

BG3[Good Good]: Can't play it, but that one serious "mean" lady cried, and I wanna protect her to badly, and everyone who disliked her for being mean should apologize right now. She is doing her best. It also won GOTY lol.

Allen Wake 2[Good Bad]: I fucking love everything about this and am looking forward to Control 2. Fuck whatever the mind palace bullshit is. I hate that so much, it kills the game for me, but I will happily watch it.

Forespoken[Bad Good]: The game is very bad on a technical level, but I like the magic tattoo system, and it seems like they had some level of passion, but lacked the technical skills to pull it off. If you need to buy a bad game, buy this one over Starfield.

Skyrim[Bad Good]: It's a mess, pretty bland, but it's a fun romp through a fantasy world. The dragons are stupid lizards akin to flying gnats, and the nords can fuck themselves overall lol.

Starfield[Bad Bad]: Todd said he has been working on this idea for 25 years. You think his team thinks the player base is stupid, and will just eat this up. Also everyone who said "It gets good 30 hours in" I'm sorry, but if you said this about any other piece of media people will think your out of your mind.

[ten-cent-sleuth]

With a half dozen chapters left, I have got lots of thoughts to add.

I sympathise with Catherine’s raising her own excitement and then being disappointed by the ordinariness of what she discovers in the abbey

mood

literally has happened to me (although not in an abbey)

#ReadsTooMuch #GetSatiredGang #HumbledToTheDust

Tilney’s flower spiel has me 🫣🫣

I feel bad for Mr Allen right now; General Tilney is making Catherine compare everything against him 😂

I am :|| at Catherine’s tactlessness with asking Miss Tilney about her mother, oof

also what a leap “He did not love her walk: could he therefore have loved her?” is gjfkshfjd

I admit my curiosity about General Tilney increases though

I thought he was cool but he is getting sus now

holding onto my #1 Curious About spot though, good work sir

I always love Miss Austen’s descriptions of the interplay between simultaneous emotions and impressions; case in point, “The shock, however, being less real than the relief, offered it no injury”

“and one useless antechamber” press F to pay respects

“What could more plainly speak the gloomy workings of a mind not wholly dead to every sense of humanity, in its fearful review of past scenes of guilt?” Catherine he is WALKING AROUND 😭😭

the concept of this man having a secret(ly alive) wife locked up somewhere in his house is within reasonable bounds for Catherine huh?

please I want her to meet Mr Rochester, I need to see his face when she looks him right in the eye within days of making his acquaintance and is like “You’ve got your wife locked up in the attic don’tcha?”

oh man I am. I just

I am glad Catherine’s suspicions didn’t last too long and that they were put out by Tilney rather than by anyone else (the intimacy of being utterly humiliated in front of that one special person alone *swoons*) (unironically though I have so many thoughts about this concept even beyond Northanger Abbey, but I will not get into that rn lol)

but gooooosh at the same time… “his quick eye fixed on hers” “or it may be—of something still less pardonable” “If I understand you rightly, you had formed a surmise of such horror as I have hardly words to—” “Dearest Miss Morland, what ideas have you been admitting?” ow ouch ow!!!

Tilney is firmly in my favour now though lol; he comprehended her so well and chastised her so gently

aww Catherine </3

and Tilney being attentive <3

but I would die of mortification tbh; that Catherine rallied her spirits enough to face him again within half an hour? dear heavens I’d’ve needed half a decade

lmao rip Italy, Switzerland, and the south of France

as soon as she said the letter was from James, not Isabella… beware the letter from a sibling in the third act of a Jane Austen novel

“uncomfortably circumstanced” indeed

I feel some compassion for James but buddy better not think “Let me soon hear from you, dear Catherine; you are my only friend; your love I do build upon” is gonna make me forget how he was with her before gjfhshfj

“Poor Thorpe … his honest heart” it seems we haven’t revealed everyone’s duplicity yet

which I am getting worried about actually

are the Thorpes gonna show up with Captain Tilney just when things are getting good with our main trio? is Thorpe the Twerp gonna press his suit? I’d hope they’d have given up on the Morlands after the disappointment with James but there’s no way we had all that build-up (with the Twerp) for nothing 😬😬

“I have too good an opinion of Miss Thorpe’s prudence to suppose that she would part with one gentleman before the other was secured” lmao Tilney

“‘Such a sister-in-law, Henry, I should delight in,’ said Eleanor with a smile” these two 🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️ I am in love with her and Catherine’s friendship, and I am falling in love with his and Catherine’s romance, but put all three of them together and I just feel bad for Catherine hfkshjfjs

still the best trio though

Tilney talking circles around her at times leaves a bit of an unromantic impression (unless I am missing something 😅😅), but I do like how a sharp wit who keeps people at mockable length might have fallen for and will actually let in someone so artless and guileless that they connect with anyone deeply and sincerely

and it’s not like I think Catherine is an empty-headed fool who can’t keep up with him or anything; a capacity to learn and an undeniable strength of character are already hers (seriously, she has had my full support, sometimes to my surprise because I expected some Main Character-Requisite Blundering, with how she has handled I think every difficult situation she’s come across so far), so any lapses in reason or understanding are easily attributable to mere youth and inexperience

it’s just when Tilney speaks with double meanings more often than the average person while she tends to take things at face value more often than the average person, we don’t get to see their communication cross paths as often as we could have, if that makes sense lol

which is not to say I dislike their relationship: they’re still on solid ground together, supportive and accepting of each other, honest and understanding when it matters (more honest and understanding in those moments than, like, the other characters are all the time tbh), and I am absolutely rooting for them

it’s more a note on the romance: c’mon, the game of flirting involves two players, and one of them is not usually the gentleman’s clever sister

(update on my original post though: Miss Tilney is definitely my favourite character)

but anyway, because this isn’t supposed to be a swoon-worthy love fantasy of epic poetry proportions, that is not a critique!!! just a comment!!!!!

As soon as I finish reading this, I want to watch the 2007 tv film. Imagine my surprise when I was looking at Northanger edits on Tunglr and recognised JJ Feild! I HAD been trying to think of what allusions to Northanger Abbey were in Austenland, and I guess it’s just straight-up one of the adaptations’ male lead lol.

I have just finished Chapter 10 of Northanger Abbey. Some thoughts:

I kind of wish I had read this book first out of Jane Austen’s works, if only because I would have related to Catherine more

since I’m mostly familiar with Pride and Prejudice and Emma and Persuasion, and a little knowledgeable of Sense and Sensibility, (I have yet to even touch Mansfield yet, I am so sorry) I was immediately like what the heck do you mean Catherine’s got a brother

who is this man?? what is he doing here???

I’ve read too many P&P fics,,, the state of being brotherless is just so ingrained into the story conflicts and character dynamics in my head, whoops

Mr Thorpe was annoying from the first, and he has only gotten on my nerves even more (and do I smell a fortune hunter??)

Isabella is also hmm

at first I was leery of her and Catherine’s friendship because of how she’s older and more polished; I was sceptical of the sincerity of how quickly they seemed to get attached

also I get the vibe that she’s hiding something from Catherine (has she met Tilney before…?)

but if she’s really James’s love interest, then I see her as more harmless; more of a disappointment, less of a threat, I guess?

still absolutely relieved Catherine’s not overly attached to her now though

Miss Tilney intrigues me

I like her so far

might be my favourite character but we’ll see we’ll see

Mr Tilney also intrigues me but less decisively of a favourable bent

I’m kinda suspicious but idrk why

tryna withhold judgement since he hasn’t actually done anything sus yet (that I can think of)

plus I genuinely enjoy his and Catherine’s tête-à-têtes

so mostly on the fence

I am most curious about General Tilney, idk why but he is piquing my interest

the exposition about the late Mrs Tilney seems very deliberate

the whole family is just intriguing I s’pose ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

loving the writing, unsurprisingly

I put off Northanger for a long time because I hadn’t expected it to be as lighthearted as it is due to some reviews I’d read but

there do be plenty of funny parts

and of course Miss Austen’s characteristic wit is ubiquitous <3

Please forgive me for any egregious mistakes, I am no literary academic and cannot spot themes or symbols or meta details for my life. 🙏🏽🙏🏽

[littlemissuicidex]

✨ Deep interests ⚽ Hobbies 🧠 Expertise ☀️ Hopes / wishes

“Hobbies?” She asks, looking downward in thought.

“Well I enjoy reading. I guess embroidery, too. I like sewing things.” 

((We know you do Ray 😂 since she's not one to yammer on - nemo saving the day! Lol I feel like of all consumable media, Ray enjoys reading the most. Favs authors being Grimm brothers, Edgar Allen Poe, and V.C. Andrews. I feel she would enjoy Mary Shelley a lot too. I think she may enjoy cross-stitching and sewing in general, following the patterns, the fun colors, to create something pretty. She probably would embroider cute things for her parents for holidays in hopes of getting some sort of approval…. ))

“Dying.” She responds without hesitation, “my biggest wish is to die.”

((Poor thing just wants to be loved and accepted and VALIDATED.))

[kijakitten]

my headcanons about bae members!!! again pls excuse my poor english<3 i forgot to post this lol !

1. SUGASANO ALLEN:

puts cereal fist, then milk

likes to eat tomatoes

bites his nails when stressed

anne say it’s his biggest flaw

follows "daily rap quotes" on ig

"i cant set an alarm on my phone"

actually he could, but pretended he couldn’t so he wouldn’t set an alarm and go to classes

kinda knows how to cook but people find it sus

coffee and energy drinks don’t work on him anymore

says he likes spicy food but once when bae were at restaurant allen ordered a spicy dish

he cried so hard and his mouth was so red

2. YEON HAJUN:

likes to run in the morning when the weather is nice

iced coffee>>> normal coffee

after getting drunk he’s so lovely

watches animation movies in secret

enjoys listening to metal and punk rock

choco-mint ice cream is his thing

the ‘i can drive fast’ type then drives 30km/h

tomatoes are his archenemy

hates allen for liking tomatoes

professional fifa player

the "we have food at home" type

3. ANNE FAULKNER:

they follow 5 minutes crafts on instagram

“god, their ideas are so stupid” but still wants to try some of them

they help allen to choose his clothes because "he's literally a fashion disaster"

actually good at math

they have that one tv series that they need to watch no. matter. what.

"let's hurry up, it's almost time for my series!!"

uno master

make tik toks with fashion advices

or just show their looks

the type who says "hajun's right, we have food at home"

"but it’ll take a while before we get home, let's eat something out"

akyr ver <3

[flashflashhundredyarddash]

birdflash and the batfamily

did bruce ever suspect when he set up a playdate meeting for robin and kid flash he was going to gain a future son-in-law? No.

dick and wally Officially get together in their teens

when dick runs off hes gone for like a year and bruce is like. lowkey super concerned dick is going to try and elope with wally

when jason first shows up he Does Not have the highest opinion of dick so he thinks wally is like. dicks bum boyfriend lmao. when he actually gets introduced to wally hes like hmm wally is okay i guess. also wally actually goes to college so jason always asks him questions about it

tim thinks wally is Super cool but is also jealous sometimes because wally takes up SO MUCH of dicks time. tim gets the Most time with wally because tim is also friends with bart so they just all hang out a lot.

all of dicks siblings HATE pda. they have a whole list of rules for what is acceptable when a sibling is within 100 feet. dick disregards it lol he WILL hold wallys hand and kiss his boyfriend while his brothers and sister groan in the background

cass is very happy because wally makes dick happy! wally is one of the few outside of the batfam who can actually hold a conversation with cass and doesnt act All Fucking Weird because she doesn't speak english well

when duke gets adopted dick and wally are already engaged so like three months after hes adopted he gets to go to their wedding and dick puts him in the wedding party duke is like :') the wedding is fun all their super friends are there and bruce is very obviously Trying Not to Cry

when damian shows up dick and wally decided to live separately while dick Deals With the Situation so now damian has "i have fucked up my primary caretakers years long relationship" insecurity THIS POOR KID LMAO. damian gets to be the Ringbearer at the wedding!! It is a Great Honor. also the west-allens arent the worst family to be related to they are very formidable allies (damians list of the flash fam from most threatening to least threatening: iris, joan, wally, bart, jay, the twins, barry).

so. many. wedding photos.

it takes ages for dick and wally to get married because uh. gay marriage was kind of illegal for a while there. even before its legal they have that talk of well i love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you

once it IS legal they put it off because they are always dealing with SO much shit but duke getting adopted was kind of the catalyst for dick to be like holy shit all our family is here and safe LETS GET MARRIED and wally is like what right now im washing dishes

bruce panics and buys them a coffeemaker for their wedding lmaooooo

ONE FUCKING TIME. oh my god. obvs bruce calls his kids by the wrong names all the time but one time he was OUT IN THE FIELD AS BATMAN and he calls up tim on the comms and hes like "Kid Flash, did you read the toxicology report I sent you yesterday." and theres a second of silence before everyone LOSES THEIR SHIT. KID FLASH. BRUCE WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT.

steph and wally get along like a house on fire. a house that is crashing and burning but by god you cant look away

wally is. a little intimidated and jealous of babs because he KNOWS dick had a maybe-crush on babs back when they were kids and wally still hasnt gotten over it a decade later like WALLY DICKS MARRYING YOU I THINK YOURE GOOD LMAO.

kate tries to be a Gay Mentor to dick and wally because when they first came out she was their ONLY GAY RELATIVE who was semi competent (bruce is bi but hes a bad gay mentor lol. barry is bi but kind of struggles with it sometimes)

side note that hal has been around the whole time wally knew him ever since wally was a kid and hes like wow i love that uncle barry and uncle hal are such good friends and then they have to break the news that iris and barry have an open relationship shebnrcnene.